15 February, 2014
My last post of 2013 was a list of my resolutions--dares, challenges, and promises that I have difficulties with, but knew I could still accomplish.
Every month or so, I'll come back here and re-examine that list. You will hold me accountable to the promises I've made. You are my accountabili-buddy, whether you like it or not.
This is sort of an ongoing thing. I need to be courageous in all aspects of my life--career, personal, physical, you name it. Have I been brave? Yes, for the most part; I have. Sometimes just getting out of bed is courageous, so... ;) Ha. Also: I did karaoke. You should know that karaoke TERRIFIES me. I'm a singer, yes. But I don't like to perform without rehearsing. If it's going to be less than Perfect, I don't wanna do it! I need to be spectacular!!!! So, karaoke is something I stay away from. But I did it. And I sucked. It was awful!!! However, I lived. I'm still alive. It did not kill me. Next time, I will choose a better song and rock their socks off. Bonus: I had a few Jamesons to give me courage up there, and then sent some drunk texts which I turned into this poem, which was a good a laugh for me, my best friend, and the receiver of said texts.
Yes. Yes, yes, yes. (There, see? I can cross this one off the list!!!) Har, har. Yes, I've been saying 'yes.' Not too often (see the next promise for more), but enough. To outings, gatherings, events, projects at work, to life in general.
Say 'No' When You Need To, and Without Guilt.
Well, that last bit is where I struggle the most. I will say 'no,' but not without a ton of guilt.
Realize You Deserve Better.
Hmmmm. Yes, I think I'm making headway on this. I'll forget quite a bit, and will have to remind myself that I deserve better. So it's slow-going, but at least it's going.
Continue to Give and Earn Respect.
Well, I'd like to think I'm doing well with this one. But when life gets in the way and you forget your best friend's birthday, even when it was written in swirly letters on your calendar? Big Fat Fail for me, right there. She still loves me; that's what friends do. But this is a FAIL so far.
Find a Fun Way to Stay Healthy.
Ha. Weeeellllll....yyyyyessssss. Yes. I've found one that I really like, but it's not possible to do it as often as I would like, or as often as I need it to get in shape. So I need to find something else to supplement it.
Write More--Whether in Your Journal, Posting a Blog, or Writing More Poetry.
YES! To all the above! I've written a few blogs, I write in my journal every few days, and I've even posted a couple of small poems. This has been...surprisingly easy. The Gentleman thinks I should also re-read the novel I half-completed back in 2008, do some re-writes, and finish it. I think he may be right.
Write--and Send--Proper Old-Fashioned Letters. Use the Crazy Amounts of Stationary You Have, By Golly!
Alas, no. Unless thank-you cards count, and they probably don't. Each weekend I've intended to write at least one letter and send it out to a friend or family member. I've even written post-it notes to remind me... But I have FAILED at this one. Must get better!!!
Get Back to the Reason You're in LA.
Yes, actually. Slowly, but surely. I've started an "actor's group" with a few people. We meet once a month or so, give each other homework...it's a way to stay accountable, as well as getting stuff done. My homework for our next meeting is to order new headshots.
I also auditioned for (and got in!) a one-act play fest at the Atwater Playhouse.The roomfriend and I were both cast without needing to go to callbacks--AND we were cast in the same play, which made running lines pretty easy. It was wonderful being back on stage, and so fun to do it with Jessie! Several friends came to see the show, and...I'm sorry, I just got distracted by Belgian figure skater Jorick Hendrickx's gorgeous blue velvet costume. I want it.
So, anyway....yeah. I'd say I'm definitely improving at this...if not improving in my ADD. ;)
Be a Friend to Yourself.
I'm getting better. Trying not to feel too guilty or beat myself up too much if I don't get to the laundry or grocery shopping when I planned on it, or if I delay writing Accountability Blogs ;) , or sleep later than I intended. If I sleep late, it's because my body so badly needs it. (See below.)
Weed Your "Friend" Garden When You Need To. If You're Not in Their Life, Why Are They in Yours?
I have trouble with this. I sometimes hang on long after I should be...on Facebook or in Real Life. And sometimes I gather the courage and let them go...and they still come back. These are the weeds that are harder to get rid of. My guilt kicks in and I accept their friend request again, or whatever. So...no, I haven't been especially good at this.
Dare to Love.
I wrote a blog about this last month. Everything I said is still how I feel. I'm open to it, to the possibilities. And something has recently happened that will allow even MORE love to come into my life, a love that I've never had or experienced and that I've wanted for SO LONG. A love that will never grow old. I'll leave it at that for right now--it's not what you might think it is. I'll say more when I can.
Keep Yourself Open to New Experiences and People and Places. Learn From Everything and Everyone.
Yes. This one is probably the easiest for me to accomplish. I am constantly learning, from the people in my life, from strangers, from everything around me. I'm trying to keep my mind and heart open to new experiences and to learn to enjoy whatever comes my way--and to remember that the good, the bad, the ugly...are all learning experiences, helping me to receive something even better coming my way.
Let's Tackle This Insomnia, Shall We?
Getting better! I started a program for insomnia, so that's a start. Learning to read my patterns, habits, and listen to what my body tells me. Turns out I put myself to bed far too early. At this point, I shouldn't be in bed before 1.30am--crazy, I know. But it will help me see bed as relaxing, restful, peaceful. Ideally, I should be able to read for just a bit, turn the lights out, and fall asleep pretty quickly. Instead, I lay in bed reading for an hour or two, hit the lights, and take at least 30 minutes to fall asleep. So...we'll see.
Organize Your Walk-In Closet!
Nope. Not even a little bit. I need a complete day off, and with the play and everything going on, I haven't been able to even start. Monday is a holiday, though, so I'm hoping to begin. Make a bit of headway.
...and For Goodness' Sake, Back Up Your Computer Already!
YES!!!! I finally bought an external hard drive and backed that sucker up!!!
So, all in all...not a bad start to the year. Lots of room for improvement--always--but not doing too badly.