"For an actress to be a success, she
must have the face of Venus, the brains of Minerva, the grace of
Terpsichore, the memory of Macaulay, the figure of Juno, and the hide of
a rhinoceros."
~Ethel Barrymore
1879-1959
Ms. Barrymore said this sometime in the 1950s.
Nothing has changed.
But let's break this down a bit...
VENUS: The goddess of love and beauty. The most important thing for an actress to be, or so it seems, is beautiful.
Nobody wants to go and see normal-looking women, do they? Thank God
this is changing, ever-so-slightly. There are very few actresses who are
drop-dead gorgeous, who look fabulous no matter what. Most of us look
just like everyone else. Every photo you see has been photoshopped and
airbrushed. We're made to look skinnier and toned with flawless skin. No
one looks like that! And trust me, everyone gets airbrushed. EVERYONE.
But
as women, we let that happen. We keep buying the magazines with
impossible beauty on the covers. We keep looking at those pictures and
think, "I'll never look like that." Well--that's true--we won't ever
look like that. But it should make us feel at least a little better
knowing that they'll never look like that, either! :) The
things that they have and we don't are: good lighting, good make-up and
hair stylists, a good photographer who knows all their best angles, and a
guy to photoshop the finished product.
Yet
we still have to strive daily to look our best, at all times...at any
cost. Magic creams and potions and injections and going to the gym, all
to keep us looking glamourous and beautiful. This is fine for those who
have been able to make a successful career out of acting, but for those
of us still struggling, it's not easy. I can't afford most of this--and I
don't have a personal trainer egging me on to work out. I hate working out. So how can I keep up with those screen goddesses?
I
can't. I just have to be Me. And I'll keep hoping that casting
directors see something different in me and will take a chance on that.
MINERVA:
The goddess of wisdom, medicine, the arts, dyeing, science, trade, war,
and the inventor of music. Good golly! That's a lot for one person to
handle, don'cha think?! Yet actresses have to do this daily. The
stereotype used to be that actresses weren't exactly the smartest of
creatures...but it's next to impossible to be a "dumb blonde" in this
biz. You have to have common sense, good judgement, and (I would say) a
higher-than-average intelligence to make this work. Not only do we need
to be creative--after all, our very job is to "pretend" we're someone
else--but we also need to have a business-minded brain. That's not easy
for some of us--me included. We have to be able to read a script and
decide if this would be good for us as artists, and as businesspeople. It ain't called "show business"
for nothin'. You are a brand. You must be marketable. People must be
able to make money off of you, which means you need to be making plenty
for yourself. (This part also falls into the VENUS category--being
marketable!) And when/if you are making money, you need to make sure
it's yours and that it's not going anywhere--which is a whole other side
to the business that I'm not going to get into. :) I'll hire someone
for that! ;)
TERPSICHORE:
The Muse of dance and lyric poetry. An actress must have grace. She is
under pressure and strain, as well as the microscope much of the time.
She must exude an ease of grace or face the harsh critics in the press.
She must be graceful not only in body and face, but in language as well.
She must speak kindly about all, she must not be ribald, she must be
this and that. Honestly, I can understand how some of these young
actresses throw their hands up and go crazy. I understand, but I
won't condone it. Ish Kaur, the director of THE SIXTH RIVER, told me I
was graceful in everything I did. I laughed at that and told her I'm
such a klutz! But that didn't matter. Tripping over everything (and
sometimes nothing) doesn't mean I can't be graceful. It just means I
have to be extra-charming to make up for my sense of gravity. ;)
MACAULAY:
Lord Macaulay was a poet, historian, MP, and Secretary at War. He was
known to say that, "if by some miracle of vandalism all copies of
Pilgrim's Progress and Paradise Lost were destroyed off the face of the
earth," he would undertake to reproduce them both from recollection. How
he fits into an actress's life should be obvious. We read, we commit to
memory, we perform what we have learned. But it goes a bit deeper than
that. We shouldn't forget anything in our lives--personal,
professional, whatever. The pain we've endured, the happiness we've
felt, every emotion from any time in our lives can be brought forward to
use in our craft. Though we'd like to forget high school days or
embarrassing moments, they help a lot in connecting to and with the
character we're playing. Those old emotions help us become the character, not just act like her.
JUNO:
Queen of the gods and protector of Rome. She is often identified with
the Greek goddess Hera, who was mostly worshipped as a goddess of
marriage and birth. Which brings me to one of the more interesting
aspects of being an actress: marriage and children. Oh, lordy, this
could be a long one! First, marriage: When an actress gets married, she
takes herself off the market. Producers may not like that because people
might stop fantasizing about her, and stop buying tickets to see her.
(This is all bull hockey, but whatever.) Producers may not like the
partner she chose...he or she could be bad for her career. And then
there's the whole "my wife simulates sex with other people for a living"
thing. I've often joked with Andy that the only reason I'm an actress
is so I can kiss other people and get away with it. The truth is, it's
really not a joking matter. It can't be easy for someone to watch their
partner making out with another guy or gal. Insecurities are bound to
pop up--real or imagined. And telling them that it's the least sexy and
romantic thing to do doesn't help. You're there in front of dozens of
people, all eyes on the two of you...it's not exactly a picnic. But that
doesn't help--your partner will be thinking things like, "Does she
touch him the way she touches me? Does she enjoy it? I'm gonna go punch
that guy's lights out!" No matter how normal and sane and level-headed
they are--and believe me, I've got one of the most even-keeled guys out
there--this is not an easy thing to go through. So this in itself takes a
little bit of Minerva and Terpsichore--wisdom and grace--to tread
lightly on the subject, to be gentle and reassuring and maybe a little
blasé about the whole thing. If the actor happens to be a good
kisser...you know, my husband doesn't need to know that.
This
can be very dangerous territory for those of us who have partners. As
an actress, I will myself to develop a bit of a crush on my co-star. It
helps with the chemistry and makes things more believable. But actors in
general can take those feelings too far. (And I mean "actors" as in
guys and gals.) It's the easiest thing in the world to think yourself in love with that other person, to really
believe it. We see it all the time in the tabloids--people leaving
their spouses for their recent co-star. But most of the time, it's just
the intensity of emotions on set, it's not anything real--it's not
anything to build a relationship on. If you have a strong marriage, it's
just a bump in the road and you can stop yourself from tripping. If
you've been having trouble in your marriage, this can be a huge boulder
you run smack-dab into, face first. It's up to you. It's always up to
you.
Onto kids: Yay, kids! Everyone
asks, "When are you guys gonna have kids? You've been married a while
now! Come on!" We're under constant pressure to reproduce! Most of our
friends have already finished, and we haven't even begun. Going through
our friends, 97% of those who do not have kids are actresses.
Coincidence? Hardly. We have the usual worries about starting a family:
time, money, career, etc. But then we've got the added worries about
changing bodies and not getting a role while we're pregnant...and trying
to get back to our pre-pregnancy bodies, not an easy feat. And for
those often playing romantic leads, there's the worry that now we'll
only get cast in the mom roles, that we won't be seen as cute and sexy
anymore. For an actress to be out of commission for an entire year is a
tough thing. People forget you in this business, unless you're always
out there. You have to continuously fight to be heard and seen, to get
the roles you want. (Remember Minerva's also the goddess of war?) Once
you start a family, you'll be fighting for the above, plus to spend time
with your family. This can be a cruel career--odd, long hours...often
filming on location no where near your home. Can you bring the kids?
Sure. With someone else there to watch them. You can see them in your
trailer between takes--but I don't know many kids patient enough to hang
around the studio for any length of time. It's hard enough for the kids
who are in the film to be patient! (And that's true of some adults, too! ;) )
For
many years of an actress's life, her career has to come first.
Otherwise, there will be no career. Some might argue that there may be
no children then, either. So each actress has to decide for herself what
she can and cannot live with. If knowing you sacrificed a family for
your career is going to make you distraught, then don't focus so much on
the career. For me--I'm at that awkward age, where both are pretty
important. Career outweighs children, but not by much. I have a few more
years before I really need to start worrying...so I won't think about
that now. I'll think about that tomorrow, with Scarlett.
I'm
in a business where my height and weight are on my resume. A change in
weight becomes a change in characters that I can play. So...yes, that's
always the first thing on my mind when I think about starting to have
children.
RHINO:
As if all the above wasn't bad enough, we also have to be strong and
tough? Geez Louise, you're asking a lot. In this profession, you hear a
lot of "NOs." You're not right for the part. Come back after you've done
this. Lose 5 pounds. Too tall, too short, too this and that. No, no,
no, no, NO. The physical attributes that you're super insecure about are
the things the Powers That Be will bring up. I've heard two very good
pieces of advice for those wanting to be an actor. 1) If you can't take
criticism, forget it. You'll never make it. 2) If there's something
you're just as passionate about, do that instead.
Even
if you've made it, you're still under critique. And everyone's a
critic. Everyone's scrutinizing you and taking pictures of you...and you
can't scratch your nose in public anymore, because US Weekly will have
it blown up and claim you were picking your nose! Gain a few pounds, and
they'll circle the supposed "baby bump" that is your tummy! Kiss an old
friend on the cheek and suddenly you're in a passionate affair. Cover
your face from the cameras and you're rude. On and on and on. For
someone like me, who wants everyone to like her, that can be difficult.
First of all, I have to understand that not everyone's going to like me. Second, who bloody cares?! Just let it go. Serenity NOW!
So there you have it. The Life of an Actress. I hope that brings a little more understanding into what we go through, and why we make the decisions we do...and why so many of us are older mums!
Ethel knew exactly what she was talking about...and in 50+ years, it's still the same.
