The Way Things Are

08 November, 2012

First, you *must* say that like the mice from the movie BABE. Had the darnedest time trying to find a clip, and could only manage this one; it's at the beginning, though, so that's something, at least:


The Way Things Are!

This blog is only about today. And you'll have to forgive my tenses. I go from past to present way too often, but I'm too tired to edit and proofread. Only have energy enough to add in this little warning and an apology: I'm sorry for my atrocious grammar and writing tonight.

Here's my day:

My Heart Is Stone, and Still It Trembles.

Well, here it is. My long-awaited LES MIZ blog. In the words of Eponine, 
"Well, I told you I'd do it--told you I'd do it!"

Sooooo many thoughts, which is part of the reason I've taken so long to 
write this. That, and my folks were in town...and I got sick. I'm still recovering
 from my cold and am feeling unnervingly dizzy today, but it's a day off. 
Therefore, things need to get done. Important things like laundry, cooking, 
cleaning, groceries, taking care of Ella, writing blog posts, and posting 
holiday photos to Facebook. Dizziness Be Damned.

And now: Les Miserables. (I try to warn you of spoilers when I remember,
 but really...if you don't know the story by now, you deserve to not be 
warned. :p )

(Look for the links, in blue and green. There's quite a few--have fun with that. Ha!)


I had some trepidation about seeing this. 

For years, this was THE musical for me. "Obsessed" doesn't even begin to cover it. 
Oh, I loved, listened, adored, watched other musicals...but LES MIZ was IT. 
And Eponine was my Dream Role. I read the book (the entire thing) twice in 
7th grade, and again in 8th. I know adults who still haven't read it. The 
looks on my teachers' faces as I pulled that out during downtime was 
priceless--but they got used to it. I was an odd kid.

Summer Sunday and a Year...

09 June, 2013

...(I guess I like it fine, so far.)

(By the way, Rothdell Trail, AKA "Love Street," is just a few miles up the road from me! I haven't visited it, or the Country Store, yet.)

This post is all about Los Angeles. And me. And dating...and how they all complement each other. 

The Art of Doing Remarkable Things

31 October, 2011

Hallo!

Okay, so much has happened, and I've got several blogs to write in order to get it all in. But for now, I'm skipping all of that and sharing something with you. This isn't just for artists, by the way--it's for everyone.



I have a few gurus in my life.

~Bonnie Gillespie.  

I've posted and shared many of her columns from The Actor's Voice. I finally got to meet her in person when I started her 5-week class, Self-Management for Actors. (It's a life-and-career-changing experience, and the timing was perfect. The first class started 3 days after I moved  to LA! If you're not in LA, you can now take the class, too. She's taking it on tour in 2012, so make sure you keep up to date, to see if she's in a city near you. But not only that, you can Get A-listed, no matter where you live! There's nothing like this out there anywhere and believe me when I tell you that if you want to skip all the BS and time-and-money wasters: YOU. NEED. TO. ENROLL. You want to work and have an actual acting career? Take this course. You want to *look* like you're working on a career and never get anywhere? Do what everyone else in this business does. I promise you will not regret signing up...and you'll save yourself years of frustration.)

Ha-ha--maybe I should do PR for her! Well, I *am* still looking for a job... ;)  (Don't worry, Bon, I won't hit you up with that one...yet!)

By the way, her columns are great for non-actors, too, especially if you want to understand more of the business and what we go through. But if you don't want to go through her many, many columns just to find the ones that would be good for you to read, I suggest at least reading these:

• http://more.showfax.com/columns/avoice/archives/2011_08.html   <--The "Your Turn" portion at the bottom, not the column. "The only thing I aspire to be is happy. I am an actor." ;)

• http://more.showfax.com/columns/avoice/archives/2009_07_13.html <--100% Accountability, something I need help with, often.

• http://more.showfax.com/columns/avoice/archives/000877.html  <--"It's never easy to see your kid off to any other place, to pursue some career that's based in dreams."

• http://more.showfax.com/columns/avoice/archives/000443.html <-- A follow-up to her monetary costs of acting. This is the other, non-monetary, costs of the career.

~Mark McGuinness

--love him. Check him out at Wishful Thinking and Lateral Action. (Sign up for his free 26-week course The Creative Pathfinder. He has a lot of free ebooks, as well as his blog, but one of my faves is "Time Management for Creative People.")

~Steven Pressfield. 

The War of Art.  Do the Work.  'nuff said.





Mark and Steven have gotten together a couple of times for "conversations," and you can hear/read them here:

http://lateralaction.com/steven-pressfield/

http://www.wishfulthinking.co.uk/2010/06/04/the-war-of-art-steven-pressfield/

http://www.stevenpressfield.com/2010/06/mark-mcguinness/

If you can't listen to the MP3 now, download it for later--it's definitely worth it. It's about an hour long--there's supposed to be a transcript of it, but I can't find it. :p I've left a comment, though, so Mark will probably get back to me within a couple days.

Thought you guys might like to listen, too. :) Steven talks very candidly about certain times of his life before realizing what Resistance did to him--and does to all of us.

The things I like about all three of my gurus is that they're wonderful--fabulous!--for us Creative Weenie Types, as my dad calls us. :D  But they also help those *not* in a creative business or frame of mind. Even Bonnie's columns, I've often found, could be translated into other businesses/parts of  life.

It just seems that we CWTs need a bit more help in pushing through Resistance (or realizing that we're a BUSINESS and not just an ART) than others might.

Enjoy!

Cheers,
christa. :)

Cannon Fodder: The Vlog

26 September, 2011

Because babbling in writing just isn't good enough. ;)

Cannon Fodder: The Vlog



Yep, I added a bunch of annotations and captions. I thought doing a video would be faster than writing.



I was wrong.

So very, very wrong.

Ready for the Magic!

16 May, 2011

Well!

Yeah, it's been a rough couple o' months. A rough year, even. One of these days I'll talk more about how I feel and how I'm working on getting out of my Cave. But not right now.

Right now, I'm writing authors and agents and directors and casting directors, inquiring about submissions. Across the pond, as usual. :) I can't help it--that's where I've always felt was my home, and my sensibilities are much more in line with what's coming out of the entertainment industry over there.

I don't hear back from people very often, but when I do, it's always from someone in the UK or Ireland. If anyone's going to take the time to reply to an unknown actor, it'll be someone from the British Isles. Maybe I'll blog about various theories as to why that is some other day. ;)

Today, I started the Do What Matters Challenge! I came across a tweet mentioning it yesterday--just in time, as they started today. I suppose it doesn't really matter if you start at the same time, but I procrastinate a lot, so if I put it off to start later, who knows when I'd actually begin?!

I didn't get to my emails till late in the day, though, so Day 1 wasn't super-productive. I learned more about the challenge and about each of the three systems, though, which was my #1 goal. (After chiropractor and errands, that is!)

Tuesdays and Thursdays will be tough, since those are the days I nanny for 10-11 hours. I'll set smaller goals for those days (and days where I have a lot of appointments), and do what I can. When I find another Survival Job, I'll re-organize my days and weeks, but I won't worry about that until it happens.

My goals:

1) To be able to write my screenplay WILD GEESE for an hour (to start), 3-5 times a week

2) To catch up with correspondence/organize inbox/implement an email system

3) To catch up on my Creative Pathfinder lessons

4) To notice when I'm distracted, and immediately be able to continue on with what I was meant to be doing

5) To find a system that works for me.

6) To manage my time much better

7) To relieve the guilt & stress that occurs when I don't accomplish my goals and to-do lists

8) To update my blog more regularly

9) To find extra time to devote to genealogy

10) To be able to have a day off--from everything, even emails--WITHOUT feeling guilty or stressed out!



I think those are pretty good goals...and do-able, too. That's on top of all the other things I do, but ehhh, whatever.

Hey! Did you know David Mamet started out as an actor? I didn't, either, until I picked up his book True and False: Heresy and Common Sense for the Actor.  (And damn, I wish I hadn't bought it on impulse at a certain book superstore, and waited till I got home and ordered it cheaper on Amazon! I also picked up Michael Caine's Acting in Film: An Actor's Take on Movie Making. Again, for not that cheap.)

What pulled me in to Mamet's book, though, was the very first sentence in the first chapter: "As actors, we spend most of our time nauseated, confused, guilty." Oh, my GOD, I thought. Is he stalking me and taking notes or something? I read on: "We are lost and ashamed of it; confused because we don't know what to do and have too much information, none of which can be acted upon; and guilty because we feel we are not doing our job."

I shut the book and bought it. Rest assured I will be sharing many, many nuggets of fantastic information from these books!

Oh, I also downloaded Do the Work to the Kindle on my Droid...I haven't even started it yet, and I've had it several weeks already! (Queen of Procratination and Distractions! I will become Princess of Doing Quite a Lot in no time, though!) Download it now--it's free until the 20th!

Okay, peeps...I gots to get to bed. Another loooooong day tomorrow. Someday soon, my looooong days will all be on set, where they never feel long, and I never feel exhausted. Doing what you love is magical, isn't it?

I'm ready for that magic.

Waffling, Rambling, Stream-of-Conscious Zombie Talk

10 April, 2011

Been doin' a lot of thinking lately. Not a lot of doin', though.

My mind's been in such a bad state lately, that I decided to re-do my Vision Board. I figured it would help me focus, and remind me why I go through the things I go through.

Here 'tis:

[caption id="attachment_389" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Vision Board: 2011"][/caption]

It's divided into categories, like my last one. Those categories are: Career; A Few People I Want to Work With; Family & Friends; Who I Am/My Spirit; Causes; Leisure/Personal.

It did help. Let's hope I can now act on my dreams again, instead of falling back into my Cave.

As Anatole France said, "To accomplish great things, we must dream as well as act."  And, "It is by acts and not ideas that people live."  I've got the dreaming down pat, that's for sure! I've lived in my own little world for as long as I can remember. It used to help me cope with the "real world," but now it just makes it harder and harder to actually live in the real world. It's depressing to wake up and see what my life is actually like, instead of what I fantasize my life to be.

I'm still in Denver. I'm neither in LA nor the British Isles.

I have 4 Survival Jobs just to make ends meet. Believe me, if I could have just one, I would. In a heartbeat. I'm exhausted, strained, miserable, and bitchy. But I still have to find time to write, audition, network, keep up with what's being cast and who's casting it, be sociable with friends and family, do the chores, spend time with the hubby, take care of the dog, etc. And I'm the type of person who wears a mask. Yeah...that smile you see on my face ALL THE TIME? It's not real. Well, not always, anyway. I just feel that people expect me to be the happy, strong one. I've been doing that since I was a teenager, and therefore, I have no clue how to deal with my anger, depression, anxiety, and frustration. I'm working on it--I've got a great therapist! She always gets on me for saying what I really feel, but with a smile on my face and in a peppy voice. But that's a step in the right direction--I'm actually voicing my frustration!

So let me voice some frustrations now.

I am an Air Force Brat. I am from Everywhere and No Where. I have officially been in this state for 6.25 years, and that's not only the longest I've lived anywhere in my entire life, it's also about 3.5 years TOO long. I've been trying to move for about 4 years now, but I can't. I'm here because I have to be. My husband currently makes the most money, and though we've discussed living in separate states or countries, I can't do that, because I can't afford it.

It's not that I don't like Denver or Colorado. I get the Moving Bug every couple of years...AND this is never where I pictured myself settling down. And now that I've been here 6 years, I know this isn't where I want to settle down. (Sorry, but the dry weather and altitude are torture for me...my skin, hair, lungs, and allergies. Give me a cloudy day and rain at sea level!)

I make the most of the industry where I live, whether it's in Belgium or Texas. I want to see the places where I live succeed. I want good things to happen to Denver. I want more films to come our way. I want money for our industry HERE! And I do what I can to help that along, however small my contributions.

But I'm not staying. As soon as I am able to, I'm outta here. My husband's folks have settled here, so it's not like I'd never come back. My folks are currently living here, but I don't see that lasting more than 5 years--they're like me!

I. Do. Not. Get. Work. In. This. Town.   I. Do. Not. Get. Cast. I will rarely work for free anymore, and that's what's being offered to me.  I don't need credits to build up my resume. I'm obviously not the type they look for here. I've seen who gets cast in the roles I audition for (mostly commercials), and they tend to cast a Mom-type with less personality. I'm aware that I have a big-ish personality, even when I'm just standing there. It's not what's wanted here, and that's fine. Sure, it's incredibly frustrating and sometimes I just want to give up.

But I can't. This career is something I've been working on, slowly and steadily, since I was 12. It's the only thing I've wanted, and I can't give that up. I'd regret it, and would probably spend the rest of my days as a hollow shell. This is what I live for, this is what I breathe.

I finally decided that if I want to work, I have to create it myself. I first tried with MILE HIGH LACI, which is now, finally, in post. This could be a whole other blog about why it took so long and why I'm maybe not so thrilled to be working with Denver talent anymore. (I would never write that blog, though. You'll just have to wait for my memoirs, That's What She Said by Christa Cannon.)

I've moved on to my first short film, WILD GEESE. It will be shot in Ireland. The talent (aside from me) will come from overseas (hopefully Scotland & Ireland, if I get the folks I want). The director is a London-based Aussie. But I have Denver to thank for that--I met Tom at the Denver Film Fest and we really hit it off. He does amazing work, and I was so in love with his film. I took a shot and asked him to direct mine, and to my pleasure and surprise, he accepted. My own sensibilities are much more in line with what's being shot in the British Isles, and if I can create this first step to getting over there, maybe I won't need to come back right away. :)  (Here's hoping!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I have a lot to learn, in all aspects of my chosen field--acting, singing, writing. I've also decided that I'm going to learn more post-production stuffs this year, and to shoot my own (experimental, unscripted) film (not the above-mentioned short). I'm going to get better at editing...not perfect, but have a better grasp of it than the minimal basics I know now. I love hearing what others have to say, learning from what they've done and seen. I hope to continue learning until the day I die. I don't expect praise for everything I do...but it would be nice to be noticed.

It would be even better to get paid. Decently.

I'm not able to go to as many screenings or events as I'd like to. What keeps me from attending those events is money. It keeps me from classes, trendy clothes for auditions, concerts, live theatre, after-parties, etc. If it says "free," I'm usually there, unless I'm exhausted and can't be around people. I hate to admit that, but it's the truth. I is po'. My new clothes come from hand-me-downs every couple of years. Do you have any idea how much that hurts my pride? Knowing that if I'm going to have anything new or fashionable, I have to wait a few years for someone else to throw the damn thing out? Money is a BIG issue for me. So is time. So is exhausting myself to the point of being a zombie, which I feel like 24-7.

I sleep horribly through the night. I was diagnosed with slight ADD about a year ago, thank God. I say "thank God," because now I'm on Adderall. For the first time in 20 years, I can stay awake through the day without needing a nap to get me through. But that still doesn't help me sleep at night. And that's another story...one I'm too frustrated to get into right now. I have to figure out what to do for dinner, anyway.

SO. When you ask me how I'm doing, I will always--ALWAYS--put a gigantic smile on my face and say, "I'm great! How are you?"

You now know that I am lying through my teeth. But you'll never get another answer.